Originally published January 26, 2012
Okay, Danny, why would you write a blog about the best pickup lines?
While looking at myself in the mirror this morning, I shuddered at how much older my physical body had become – compared to my real self – you know, the part of you within – the true you.
Why is it that I feel the same as I did when I was 18 years old? Although, I have matured a bit (but just a bit) and I have gone through the various stages of “growing up” and “getting older,” I don’t feel any different than I did in 1968. If I hear a song from that era, it makes me feel exactly the way I felt when I danced to it at a high school dance, or the GTC (Get Together Club), or the Jube (Jubilee Pavillion) in my hometown, Oshawa, Ontario.
And while I was shaving, the sweet sounds of the Beatles took me back to my first date in 1963. I had a crush on this girl at school (whose name I’ve now forgotten) and wanted to take her to an upcoming dance.
My problem was the fact that in our house we had only one phone (as most people did back then) and it was in the middle of the house.
You couldn’t have a private phone conversation because there were parents and five siblings always within earshot. I mean, it would take hours to try to think of what you would say to the girl – and then another couple of hours to get the nerve to make the call.
And you didn’t need to have your Mom teasing you about having a date etc.
I don’t recall what I said during that conversation, so I can’t quote a “great pickup line,” but I do know that the girl agreed to go out with me. At the time, I didn’t have a part-time job – my only source of income was my paper route (selling the Toronto Star, room to room in the Oshawa General Hospital).
What I do remember about the date was winning a “Spot Dance,” and both my partner and I each winning a gift certificate for a record from Wilson’s Music Store. Nothing evolved from the date – probably because I didn’t know how to dance very well at the time – but I did get an excellent record album – Meet Bobby Curtola – which I still have to this day.
But Dan, WTF, this blog was supposed to be about the Best Pickup Line – you’re probably asking.
Okay, I will share with you what previously has been a closely-guarded secret. It’s not for the faint-of-heart, and you should only attempt after much rehearsing.
Here is how and what to say:
First – look the person directly in the eyes (regardless of the temptation, do not stare at her body).
After a brief pause, say the following: “You are the prettiest girl I’ve seen in 3 weeks!”.
Period. Say nothing more – wait for her to respond.
PS – Let me know how it works for you!
Dedicated to Brian Twaites. (We were watching tv at his place when President JFK was assassinated in 1963)