Originally published January 26, 2012
Okay, Danny, why would you write a blog about the best pickup lines?
While looking at myself in the mirror this morning, I shuddered at how much older my physical body had become – compared to my real self. You know – the ‘real’ you that never ages.
A wise person once asked:
If you didn’t know the year you were born, how old would you be?
Why is it that I feel the same as I did when I was 18 years old?
Although, I matured (albeit a tiny bit) and have gone through the various stages of “growing up” and “getting older,” I don’t feel any different than I did in 1968.
When I hear a song from that era, it makes me feel exactly the way I felt when I danced to it at a high school dance, or the GTC (Get Together Club), or the Jube (Jubilee Pavillion) in my hometown, Oshawa, Ontario.
And while I was shaving, the sweet sounds of the Beatles took me back to my first date in 1963.
I had a crush on this girl at school (whose name was Marie) and wanted to take her to an upcoming school dance. I was thirteen years old and in my first year of high school.
My problem was the fact that in our house we had only one phone (as most people did back then) and it was in the middle of the house. But you couldn’t have a private phone conversation because there were parents and five siblings always within earshot.
I mean, it would take hours to think of what you would say to the girl – and then another couple of hours to get the nerve to make the call. And nobody wants to be rejected.
And you didn’t need to have your mom or dad teasing you about having a date.
I don’t recall what I said during that phone conversation, so I can’t quote a pickup line, but I do know that Marie agreed to go out with me.
At the time, I didn’t have a part-time job and my only source of income was my paper route – selling the Toronto Star newspapers, room-to-room in the Oshawa General Hospital. It was the best paper route in the city because I got paid for each newspaper I sold, and often got a tip, too!
What I remember about the date was winning a Spot Dance; and both my partner and I each won a gift certificate for any LP record from Wilson & Lee’s Music Store on Simcoe Street.
Nothing evolved from the date – probably because I didn’t know how to dance very well at the time – but I did get an excellent record album – Meet Bobby Curtola – which I still have to this day.
But Danny, this story was supposed to be about your best pickup line!
Okay, Spanky, I will share with you what previously has been a closely-guarded secret. It’s not for the faint-of-heart, and you should only attempt using the ‘line’ after much rehearsing.
Here is how to deliver the ‘line.’
First, look the girl directly in the eyes (regardless of the temptation, do not stare at her body).
After a brief pause, say the following:
“You are the prettiest girl I’ve seen in 3 weeks!”
Period. Say nothing more. Watch for the sparkle in her eyes while waiting for her to reply.
PS – Let me know how it works for you!
By the way, the line works on boys, girls, straight, gay, or transgender.
Dedicated to Brian Twaites. (I was watching tv at his place when President JFK was assassinated in 1963).
I hope my stories are a gift to your head and heart.
Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):