Pinch me – please!

Fraser Valley Cancer Centre
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Read Time5 Minute, 23 Second

Originally published October 19, 2012

My morning drive to work (volunteering at the Fraser Valley Cancer Center in Surrey) began like many other commutes I had taken over the past year.  I was treated at the center in 2009, as a stage three cancer patient.

Suddenly, things started to get weird when I heard a cheerful lady’s voice:

“Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?”

I looked around and noticed that I was in the drive-thru lane of the famous hamburger chain!

How or when did I get in the breakfast crowd lineup at McDonald’s?

And why?  I can’t eat solid food, much less an Egg McMuffin.

As my mind raced for answers, the cheerful voice came over the speaker again:

“May I take your order?”

“Uh, er, um,” I stuttered, “yes, just a small coffee with milk, please.”

I looked in the rearview mirror and was shocked to see I hadn’t shaved or even brushed my hair!

I also noticed that the only thing I had on was my boxer shorts and flip flops!

And then, to make things worse, all of the cars behind me were honking their horns for me to advance to the pick-up window.

I accelerated and unintentionally began laying rubber and squealing the tires as I sped to the window.

As the cloud of smoke from the tires enveloped my car, I searched the console of the car for a couple of coins to pay the server.

I grabbed a handful of strange-looking gold coins – and extended my arm out the window and through the cloud of smoke to the hand of the server.

“Keep the change!” I yelled as I sped towards the exit.

I looked at my watch and knew that I wouldn’t have time to go home to shower, shave, and get dressed.

So I turned on my four-way flashers and sped down the road – honking my horn to alert everyone.

Within minutes, I arrived safely at the parking lot of the cancer center.

I needed to find a way of getting from my car to the staff locker room – located in the radiation department, without anyone seeing me.

“Those many years in management and my exceptional skills in strategic planning would finally come in handy,” I muttered to myself.

But I knew that this situation was going to be both difficult and embarrassing – unlike anything I ever encountered in the business world.

I quickly exited my car and was running and ducking behind, and in-between, parked vehicles, until I finally made my way to the main entrance of the facility.

Luckily, there weren’t any patients in the lobby and the receptionist was busy at the copy machine.

I hid behind a large potted plant until the coast was clear and then ran to the stairway and down the steps to the radiation department.

I poked my head into the hallway, and when the coast was clear, I raced into the men’s locker room.

Fortunately, there were a few white lab coats hanging on the wall, so I grabbed one that was my size.

I put on the coat but noticed that there weren’t any buttons!  I would need to hold the front of the coat together with one of my hands.

I finally breathed a sigh of relief and then began washing my face and wetting my hair so I could comb it with my fingers.

And as I looked at myself in the mirror, I began thinking of an excuse for wearing a white lab coat instead of my green volunteer smock.

I didn’t want the patients to think that I was a nurse or doctor.

But it was at that precise moment that I felt a wet tongue on the left side of my face.

It was Holly Golightly, my dog, licking my face – trying to wake me.

I looked around and noticed that I was in my bedroom.

I got up from bed to take Holly outside and noticed my green volunteer smock still hanging on the back of my bedroom door.

I began smiling and shaking my head – some dreams seemed so real and believable.

Later, I got up and had breakfast.

After I showered and got dressed, I headed out to my car, to drive to the cancer center.

I noticed it as soon as I got into the car – a McDonald’s coffee cup.

And it was still warm!

Dedicated to healthcare workers

I hope that my stories are a gift to your head and heart. 

Stay safe. Be well. Laugh often.

Hugs,

Danny

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

Your Wildest Dreams – lyrics

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Once the world was new
Our bodies felt the morning dew
That greets the brand new day
We couldn’t tear ourselves away
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you still remember
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once beneath the stars
The universe was ours
Love was all we knew
And all I knew was you
I wonder if you know
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

And when the music plays
And when the words are touched with sorrow
When the music plays
And when the music plays
I hear the sound I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Mirrored in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams (ah, ah, ah,)
In your wildest dreams (ah, ah, ah,)
In your wildest dreams (ah, ah, ah,)
In your wildest dreams (ah, ah, ah,)

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Songwriters: Justin Hayward
Your Wildest Dreams lyrics Fintage House Publishing, BMG Rights Management

About Post Author

Daniel (Danny) St. Andrews

An almost famous Film, Television & Stage Actor (as in almost pregnant) living in Vancouver, BC His other passions include cancer patient advocate (he had stage 3 throat cancer), walking with the Vancouver 'Venturers Walking Club, and of course, spoiling his dog, Holly Golightly. If you like the stuff he writes about - please leave a hug (or a comment).
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By Daniel (Danny) St. Andrews

An almost famous Film, Television & Stage Actor (as in almost pregnant) living in Vancouver, BC His other passions include cancer patient advocate (he had stage 3 throat cancer), walking with the Vancouver 'Venturers Walking Club, and of course, spoiling his dog, Holly Golightly. If you like the stuff he writes about - please leave a hug (or a comment).

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