Worried Again

Read Time6 Minute, 28 Second

The roller coaster was climbing slowly up the hill and when it reached the peak – it almost touched the clouds.  Children were screaming with delight – arms waving in the air – eyes sparkling with excitement, while seniors were filling their Depends with assorted bodily fluids.  But as the aging ride reached the bottom, its speed was too much for the old track, and the old roller coaster left the track – plunging into the crowd of terrified onlookers.

I can’t remember when I’ve ever felt so afraid.  Afraid of losing a friend who has never stopped loving me – her entire life.  And these last couple of weeks have been like my aging, roller-coaster-analogy.

My dog, Holly, is sick again.

After her surgery on August 29th, the vet said the lab results would be back in ten days, or two weeks at the most.  The growths removed were replaced by a plastic cone that she had to wear around her head for the next twelve days.  And during that time, she wasn’t able to eat, drink, or sleep properly, and it made me feel so guilty and sorry for her.

But from the moment I got her home from surgery, Holly began drinking massive amounts of water.  She would sit by her water dish and drink as though she was dying of thirst.  And then, a few minutes later, she’d have to go pee for the longest time.

At first, I thought that maybe it was a temporary effect from the surgery.  But Holly’s constant drinking was a to worry me.  It wasn’t normal for a small dog to drink like that – she only weighs 22 pounds.

Dr. Wood called with Holly’s lab results about ten days after the surgery.  And the news was good – no cancer!  But the excitement was brief because of my newest concern – Holly’s water consumption.

I explained Holly’s problem and said that in her almost thirteen years – she never had drunk that much water in one sitting.  And she returned to drink many times during the day and night.  She also started to have ‘peeing accidents’ in the house.  A few nights ago, she wet the bed at 2:00 AM.  I had to change the sheets and blanket but wasn’t upset at her – I could see she was ashamed.

The doctor suggested measuring Holly’s water intake for the next 2-3 days and then get back to him.

After three days, Holly was averaging 9 cups of water per day!  That’s more water than I drink in a day.  I called Dr. Wood, and he told me to bring Holly in for an examination.  I took Holly to see him the next morning.

“She’s eating okay and doesn’t appear to be in any pain,” I explained, as the doctor examined Holly.

“I had a Pomeranian, before Holly and he developed diabetes, later in life,” I said.  “He too was drinking lots of water – which I learned was one of the symptoms of diabetes.  He was getting two needles of insulin per day, and eventually was blind before he died.”

“Yes, it’s something to be considered, but her glucose levels appeared to be normal when we did her bloodwork before the surgery,” explained the doctor.

“I’d recommend doing another series of test to see if it’s Cushing disease.  We would need to have Holly for eight hours – to do blood tests throughout the day.  Can you bring her in on Monday?”

Holly had those tests done two days ago.

Yesterday, at about the time of Suzette’s brain surgery – the phone rang.  My heart began to sink as I ran to the phone.  It was either a call about Suzette or Holly.

I noticed on the call display that it was the vet’s office calling.

“I’m afraid we don’t have good news,” he said.  “Holly has Cushing disease.  We see very high levels, but we’ll need to do more tests to determine if it’s a tumor on her brain – or if it’s in the adrenal gland – of which, there’s a five percent chance.”

“Oh, so hopefully it’s in the adrenal gland then?” I asked.

“No, it’s worse because it’s more difficult to treat when it’s there as opposed to it being a tumor on the brain.  I’d like you to come into tomorrow for a detailed consultation.  But you can leave Holly at home.  I’ll need to explain your options.”

My heart sank.

After transferring me to reception – I made an appointment for today – Wednesday, at 2:45 pm.

And then I sat down and cried.

To be continued.

Update:  Wednesday, September 18th, 3:30 PM:

I just sent this note to a longtime friend who knows Holly:
I just got home from the vet and the news isn’t good.  He thinks that the tumor is in the adrenal gland which is very difficult to treat = expensive.  Surgery would be $8,000 and no guarantee that it will be successful.  If she doesn’t have surgery, the medication will be about $150 per month but it won’t cure her – it will just slow the disease down and minimize the effects.
They have scheduled Holly for ultrasound tests next Wednesday.  She will have to be there for the day because of the specialist coming from the city to do the procedure.  That is going to cost $900.  But at least they’ll be able to determine if cancer has spread to her other organs.
So unless something changes, I will have to wait until next Thursday to find out how invasive the cancer is.
Holly will be my last pet.  I can’t bear the thought of her leaving me.  But I won’t let her suffer – she helped me get through my own battles and I will be there for her until the very end.

~ Danny

*******

Holly relaxing after the cone collar was finally removed last Friday

 

I’m going to continue staying close to home, and won’t be going for any walks while Holly is going through this – she needs constant attention and I don’t mind being her nurse.

Holly and I thank everyone, for the emails and text messages of support.

I’ll continue to write my stories and will give updates on Holly as they become available.

Hugs,

Danny and Holly

 

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

Worried Again – lyrics

I’m worried again
My head’s on fire
I’m on a ride, while I’m home
I keep on escaping
It keeps on staying close behind
And drifts away

And my days turn black when your tears echo in my soul
I get worried again
And my faith’s still there but it’s just not fair if we drift apart
I get worried again

I’m worried again
Our hearts on fire
But how can we hide from pouring rain?
I keep on stumbling
Is there light up ahead?
I just need somebody
I can’t walk alone

And my days turn black when your tears echo in my soul
I get worried again
And my faith’s still there but it’s just not fair if we drift apart
I get worried again

And my days turn black when your tears echo in my soul
I get worried again
And my faith’s still there but it’s just not fair if we drift apart
I get worried again

I get worried again, I get worried again
Without you, without you
I get worried again, I get worried again
Without you, without you

I’m worried now, yeah I’m worried now
I need you, baby, I need you baby
Yeah, I’m worried now, Oh, I’m worried now
I need you, baby, oh, I need you baby
I need you

Songwriters: Bobby Bazinet
Worried Again lyrics © Bloc Notes Music Publishing Inc.

0 0

About Post Author

Daniel (Danny) St. Andrews

An almost famous Film, Television & Stage Actor (as in almost pregnant) living in Vancouver, BC His other passions include cancer patient advocate (he had stage 3 throat cancer), walking with the Vancouver 'Venturers Walking Club, and of course, spoiling his dog, Holly Golightly. If you like the stuff he writes about - please leave a hug (or a comment).
Happy
Happy
0 %
Sad
Sad
0 %
Excited
Excited
0 %
Sleppy
Sleppy
0 %
Angry
Angry
0 %
Surprise
Surprise
0 %

7 thoughts on “Worried Again

    1. Thanks, Pamala. I haven’t gone to the vet’s yet but I’m not very hopeful. I knew that this day would come one day – but as long as she’s not in pain, it’ll be day-by-day. But other than the excessive drinking and peeing, she doesn’t appear to be uncomfortable.

  1. Dan……sorry to read this. I know how much you love Holly. She doesn’t have to worry about being alone as I know you will be right beside her.
    Thinking of you. Hugs from Bedford…❤️

  2. Today is officially bad news day. I woke up to the news that my child’s God parent has passed. Only 52. We are numb. And then I opened your email. And now I am overwhelmed. As I am sure you are. What terrible terrible news. I am so very sorry Danny. I will pray that something can change to improve her situation. As I simply cannot fathom you being without her just yet.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: